i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
