i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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