What a fucking waste of an outfit
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
