My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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