every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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