its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
