I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
