I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
