I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
