i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He kissed a someone with a penis
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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