I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
