she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
