yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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