College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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