I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
