Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
