Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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