Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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