Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
