$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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