oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
