i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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