Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
