i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
