Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
