i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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