Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
