so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
