Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
