They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
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If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
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I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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