No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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