people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
