can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
