My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
