Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
