Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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