Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
