i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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