It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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