As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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