we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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