Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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