you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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