I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
