lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
