Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
