lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
