i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
