y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Randomize
