He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
