my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize