I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
