i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
