We won't sleep together?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
