I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
