When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
