i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
