You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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