his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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