There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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