Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
