and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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