when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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