maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
