I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm really busy with my period
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