I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
