Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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