literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
